I don't know who came up with the idea of sending thank you notes. Someone well meaning and truly thankful no doubt, however what they didn't know is that the gesture they were doing as an "extra mile" kind of step to show how truly appreciative they were for something, would soon be turned into standard proper ettiquette. This strips the whole thing of it's original purpose!
For this reason, I hate receiving thank you notes. First of all they make me feel guilty. I feel guilty because it's a reminder that here's another person who's so on top of it...and that I am not. I rarely send thank you notes despite the fact that the tradition seems to be alive and well. Secondly, they make me feel guilty because I now realize that when I gave that person a gift or did them what I thought was some kind of favor-I was really creating a dreaded, daunting task for them!
They start out, "Jessica, Thank you so much for..." and all I'm really hearing is "Jessica, I have to get this thing written and mailed so it won't be hanging over my head anymore! Thanks alot for making me do this!"
Now, it's not that I am against showing gratitude or appreciation. However, truly, I am fine with a genuine thank you at the time of the "thoughtful transaction", or even the next time I see or talk to you even if that is six months later-it lets me know that when you see me, you associate that "thoughtful transaction" with me and it has stuck with you all this time. The genuine thank you means even more at this point even if it's said to me in the line forming outside the ladies room at church and not on flowery, pastel colored, paper! So please, please don't ever feel like I am pacing back and forth on my front porch, just biding my time until the mail man arrives because perhaps, perhaps today will be the day he brings me my much desired-strike that-deserved thank you note! And please don't do the same thing waiting for mine, because it's more likely than not that you will wear out your front porch and I will be obligated to feel guilty for that as well!
