I am not a fan of "self discovery" in the traditional sense I guess. It rubs me the wrong way. It seems so self indulgent and vain really. This is not to say that I am not either of those things or haven't been guilty of taking any of those quizzes on Facebook that promise to tell you which Jane Austen heroine you are or where you should live. I admit they are enticing because we love to "talk" and "learn" about ourselves. By the way I am not the naive main character from "Northanger Abbey," nor am I meant to live in Seattle. Really, I do not always think the best of people and I am not "tired of the scorching sun and heat" of Portland! But what I have noticed in reading other people's results is that theirs aren't usually right for them either. People "publish" their results so we can all read how "artsy" or "down to earth" they are, but really all I'm reading is how "intellectual" or "stylish" someone thinks they are! Self discovery or self disillusion?
Here's what I'm getting at. In twenty-something years of learning about myself here's what I've discovered: I'm selfish, not easily satisfied, always right, a bad friend, undisciplined, unmotivated, and a gossip with depressional tendencies to say the least. I could go on, but this list is painful enough as it is. The more we seek to be the most or get the most out of life, the more dissatisfied we seem to be. The more we expect out of ourselves or out of other people, the more disappointed we usually end up being. I believe this is because we are flawed, fickle and insatiable, people.
This is why the Bible says things like, "For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 2:21) As well as, "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matt. 10:39) Paul gives up his previous, hard earned, "successful" life as a "Pharisee among Pharisees" to follow Christ.
There's a lot of wheel spinning out there. Not that we shouldn't spin our wheels, but maybe we should spin them in a different direction. I came across the most beautiful passage today in Colossians that really sums up my thoughts on "self discovery" and all the energy we spend on it and specifically the direction we spend it in. I think if we want to do true, beneficial, edifying self discovery, perhaps we need to look somewhere other than inward because frankly, I've found there's just not a lot there worth hanging on to.
"He has delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. He is the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist." (Colossians 1:13-17)
Some good spiritual food for thought in case you're thinking of doing some introspective soul searching or for the next time you want to dig deep into your origins. We were created for Him, through Him and we consist in Him only.
