Let me tell you about a sweet, quirky old couple named Edith and Merle. They are still madly in love with each other and tell each other so when they are sitting on their porch, rocking and drinking lemonade together.
They are actually us, Devlyn and I, when we are old. We have given each other old people names (no offense to anyone reading this who happens to be named Edith or Merle). When one of us does something quirky, the other will say something like "See, now that's something Edith would do" or in a tone of a little more desperation, it goes like this, "Merle! Stop that's embarrassing!"
Edith is forgetful. She buys flowers, plants them and then forgets to water them. Sometimes she forgets to plant them before she has a chance to forget to water them and they die ever so young. Such a waste.
Edith can get away with saying anything to anyone. There are things that Edith thought of and wanted to say when she was young, but showed amazing restraint, deciding that it would be more memorable and have more pizazz when she was old.
Edith loves pizazz. Edith wants more drama in her window treatments and garnishes in her ice cubes. Edith freezes garnishes in her ice cubes!
Edith is not a pack rat. She purges things from the house impulsively not wanting useless junk to build up and clutter the house. Sometimes she does this so impulsively with her mother's voice running through her head saying, "When in doubt, throw it out!" so loudly that she throws out things she regrets. She is then forced to beg and plead with Merle until he agrees to go down to the hospital thrift shop and buy the item back. Merle would do this for Edith without all the begging and pleading. He would do anything for Edith. But he does love it when she begs and pleads.
Merle does things like puts out five ones side by side on a table at a restaurant when they first sit down and lets the waitress know that she has already earned that much tip. Now, she can un-earn dollars throughout the coarse of the meal or she can earn additional dollars. Merle loves this game. He sits there with his stack of ones watching her every move, speaking slowly and cryptically when he orders making sure he is not misunderstood. Merle orders liver and onions for no reason other than it grosses Edith out. He also orders diet cola. He drinks diet coke, he is addicted to diet coke, but should the particular restaurant establishment feature Pepsi, RC or some other cola, he doesn't want to know for sure that what he's drinking is not diet coke. Merle puts miscellaneous items like coconuts in Edith's purse just so he can watch her confusion and embarrassment when she reaches in and pulls them out in front of the teller at the bank.
Merle insists that Edith trim his toenails for him. When she doesn't, he picks and tears at them when he's in her presence, like when they are in bed or when he is driving the car. He insists that it's because she doesn't trim them for him that he's left with no choice but pick, rip and tear at them at that very moment! This picking noise drives Edith NUTS!
If Merle had to choose between letting Edith eat him with a spoon or spread him on toast, he would choose...toast, no wait spoon...yeah, toast. Definitely toast!
Some of these things Merle and Edith do, we do now, some of them no. You can use your imagination to decide which are which. Though I do buy accessories sometimes just for Edith to wear in the future. I think she'll appreciate it. Don't you?
