When I was young(er) I was boy crazy. I realize this is probably shocking to some of you, but there's really no two ways about it. I was also a really bad friend occasionally because of it.
In first grade I was in Mrs. Brown's class at C.S Lewis. Part of our daily routine was to go over what the day of the week and month were that day as well as the weather and who knows what else. The cool part about this routine was that each student got a turn leading this activity. There were color pictures, numbers, velcro and felt that went along with this routine. If it was your day to head up this activity, you got to pick out the colorful symbols and adhere them to the board appropriately. Since this was such a big ordeal you also got to pick a helper...to help you with this big important job. Now usually this dragged on probably, oh I'm guessing somewhere around ten times longer than it needed to be. My sense of time has been distorted by my years of aging and child like memory, but bless all those first grade teachers with unbelievable patience just the same. Anyway, the kid who's day it was drug it out because they were in charge. They were the center of attention, while we all sat around with eyes on them, yelling out obvious answers to Mrs. Brown's rhetorical questions such as, "It's rainy and cloudy today! Put up the rain and the cloud pictures!"
Now early on in the school year I became good friends with Sarah McMenn. Occasionally Sarah and I planned to wear matching outfits to school. We also chose each other as bathroom buddies, as we were required to use the buddy system when we needed to leave the classroom for such purposes. We sat by each other at lunch and played together at recess. I even named one of our goats after her-a dying goat, because if it had a name when it died, it would be sadder and I could mourn it more dramatically. (Yes, we had goats, but that's a different story). Somewhere among all this bonding we promised each other that when it was our day to head up the morning routine we would choose each other as our "helper".
Now as fate and the alphabet would have it, Sarah's day came first. (Her last name started with a letter earlier in the alphabet than mine did.) Sweet and true as she was, she chose me for her partner without hesitation. I don't think anyone else chose me for their partner all year except for maybe a semi-mental kid named Josh. (I'm not being mean, I think that's what he was).
Anyway, the weeks went by and finally it came my turn to head up the morning routine. (You know I feel kind of sick just writing this and I'm starting to wonder if Unproud Moments shouldn't be a re-occurring subject label to have on my blog :/ you let me know). Sooo, as I sat there in the little blue plastic chair in front of the whole class-ALL eyes on me and no doubt my dorky home-perm, but I was oblivious to that at the moment-I felt the power!
"You need to choose a helper." Mrs. Brown instructed me. "Oh, I know. I know! Just let me savor this for a minute," I thought. Hands shot up everywhere. My eyes scanned my classmates. I saw Sarah, with a smile. Then I saw Crystal, Josh, Maris, Sarah...this time with a confused look on her face as I was hesitating in my decision. Then I saw Michael Rosenoua (and believe me, it's not easy remembering how to spell a last name like that for twenty years.) Ahhh, Michael Rosenaou, my secret crush. He never said two words to me and now he was looking at me, hopeful, pleading and cute as could be. It was more than I could handle. I pointed, I spoke, I chose. Just like that. The look on Sarah's face was one of confusion and hurt. I hadn't planned on or prepared for the feeling that would overtake me once I saw that look. I felt sick and though I'd like to say that I didn't enjoy my time as the class leader of the morning routine with Michael Rosenoua as my helper that day, I'm sure I did. I'M JUST BEING HONEST!
Though honest certainly wasn't my strong suit that day. I hadn't held up my end of the bargain with Sarah. She'd chosen me to be her helper. I'd gotten what I wanted and I wasn't willing to return the favor to her when it would cost me something. I don't remember what, but I made something up later that day at recess as to why I hadn't chosen her and had chosen Michael. I can't imagine what it must've been, but she bought it! I told you she was sweet and true. Unlike me. I was a natural born liar-there are no two ways about that either!
